he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
