Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
