they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's never too late to be topless.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh god it's open bar.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
