i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
