Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
