All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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