I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
