he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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