Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize