Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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