How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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