So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
