I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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