The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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