oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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