you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
