am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize