Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
