I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
