It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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