Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
