totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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