Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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