He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
