Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
