I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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