he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
