Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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