It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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