I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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