we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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