So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
