she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
