Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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