it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize