her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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