NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize