Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
