Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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