Will you blow on my dice?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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