he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
