How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
