if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
