ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
