Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
