I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
