Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
