I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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