so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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