lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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