It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
