lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
