so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
