Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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