so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
