Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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