Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
