please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
