You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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