Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
