so that wasnt chicken after all
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
