My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
