Betty ford says i'm here all night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
