Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
