thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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